DAVOS, Switzerland — They train, plane, limo and helicopter into Davos every January for the World Economic Forum.
Their status is denoted by the color of their badge (or — cringe — the absence of one), their mode of transportation to the Magic Mountain — and whether they’ve managed to get on the guest list for Anthony “the Mooch” Scaramucci’s wine tasting evening or the celeb-studded Salesforce party.
Ostensibly, they’re all here to discuss “Collaboration for the Intelligent Age” — the theme for this year’s forum. But everyone knows the real reason the likes of Microsoft founder Bill Gates, Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan, IBM Vice Chairman Gary Cohn, ECB chief Christine Lagarde and Britain’s Princess Beatrice make the shlep: It’s a chance to be among their people.
So what are the 11 tribes of Davos, and where do you fit in?
The 1 percent of the 1-percenters: Badge? White. Transport? Helicopter. Food? Breakfast at the Belvedere, lunch at the Congress Center, dinner at Chesa … cocktails? As if they’re telling you where. This is the crème de la crème of the Davos set, the CEOs and presidents who don’t need to make their own reservations or get their own invitations. They just float in and float out again (perhaps via a ski piste).
The bag carriers: The green-badged brigade making those reservations and getting those invitations on behalf of the 1-percenters. This year, they’ll be working twice as hard — because the WEF has cracked down on how many of them can come. But while their bosses dine on Champagne and caviar, they’re more likely to be scarfing down some cheese from a vending machine.
The second fiddles: These are the ministers who will take a private car to the mountain, dine at the Steakhouse Ochsen — and ask a Salesforce lackey whether they can bag an invite to the hottest party in town. They’ll end up at Barry’s Piano Bar like the rest of us.
The glitterati: David Beckham, will.i.am, Sting — what exactly do they know about economics or high politics? That part’s unclear. But get one of them to show up at your party, and it’s guaranteed to go off.
The do-gooders: The Greta Thunbergs of the Davos set. In between speaking engagements, they’re nibbling spirulina and mountain hemp at the Atelier Vert, drinking kombucha and refusing the merch. Probably hiked to Davos.
AI evangelists: AI is either going to revolutionize the future, solve all our problems and make us all richer and happier … or it’s going to destroy the world and enslave humanity. Either way, the AI evangelists really, really, really want to tell you about it over brewskies at the Hard Rock.
The blockchain bros: These crypto kings are here to help you unlock the future of finance — whether you want to or not. They had their moment in the sun, got replaced by AI boosters … but with Donald Trump in the White House again, they’re back with a vengeance. No badge? No bother! They’re here for the sideshow.
The rogues: Russians may no longer be welcome at Davos, but there are plenty of other autocrats, oligarchs and vice-peddlers on the promenade. No one wants to be associated with them — but they’ll still sip their cardamon-laced hot chocolates and indulge in their exotic ice cream flavors.
The elite anti-elitists: They hate the WEF and everything it stands for — and they made quite the effort getting to Davos to tell you all about it.
The blue crew: The WEF staffers who keep the place running (and enforce the strict badge hierarchy, should any lowly hotel-badge-holders try to cross the threshold into the promised land).
The press: Ah, the not-so-glamorous orange-badged set. They caught the train to the mountain and eat their meals from the media center or one of the Coop supermarket cafeterias. These poor schmucks are just trying to squeeze out a few scoops despite being NFI at the most exclusive parties and houses. Thoughts and prayers.